Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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