I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my sisters under your porch take her home
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
