she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
