is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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