sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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