You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
