Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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