I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
