That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
