i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
