I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
