i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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