She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
