I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
