I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
