I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
