Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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