when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
