the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
