talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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