Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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