My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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