Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
