Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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