the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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