ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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