Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
