whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
