i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
