i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
