trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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