I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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