Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
