If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
