Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
