Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
