sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So many bounce houses so little time
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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