real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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