im six kinds of drunk right now
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
