I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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