I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
