am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
