He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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