Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she was so not down for the gang bang
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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