At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
