everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
