You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
