I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
