Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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