WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
